Fear had a strong and paralyzing grip on my life ever since I was young. However, in my early teens, God broke down a lot of that fear by giving me a revelation of His deep love for me. I walked in great freedom after that. But in recent years, I realized there was still some lingering fear, and I didn't know what to do about it. It was at the recent Spiritual Warfare conference that it finally made sense. The Lord showed me that while the strongholds of fear had been broken in my life, the demon that built them was still there. I will never forget the anointing in the room on Saturday morning of the conference. I knew God was going to do something incredible. When ministry time came, I went up for prayer. As soon as someone laid hands on me and began praying, I fell to the floor as God's Presence washed over me. After a few minutes, I sat up, but I knew the Lord wasn't finished yet. My whole upper body was becoming rigid and going numb as I realized the spirit of fear would not leave easily. Then Ken came over and put his hand on my head. I fell over again, crying, as the spirit of fear left my body and the numbness gradually disappeared. God had finally set me free from the spirit of fear that had held me for as long as I can remember. The following morning, I woke up deeply moved and overcome by a second revelation of God's love for me. I knew that morning, without reservation, that the Lord would provide for me, that He had a good plan for my life, and that He would never leave me nor forsake me. I truly didn’t know how much fear had been stealing from me. Since then, I have had more boldness, confidence, and joy than ever before, and I can’t stop thinking about how good God is. He truly does set the captives free!
I came up for prayer Friday evening at the Spiritual Warfare Conference to break off the curse of silence from abuse I experienced as a child. After the prayer, I felt calm and clean. It wasn’t very dramatic for me, but something shifted. That night, I had a dream that normally would have left me confused and upset. The elements of the dream were the same as before—but I wasn’t upset when I woke up. At all. I just thought, “Huh, weird dream,” and shrugged it off. It wasn’t until about an hour after waking that I realized how significant that was. I’m thanking God for that breakthrough and asking Him for more!
Generational Curses Broken
I received incredible breakthrough at the Spiritual Warfare Conference this weekend. After breaking the bloodline curses over my family—specifically generational suicide attempts and untimely deaths—I found freedom from spirits of trauma that had been oppressing me for over 30 years due to multiple forms of sexual abuse and assault. Praise Jesus for this new freedom I’m privileged to walk in!
More Than I Asked For
Leading up to the Spiritual Warfare Conference, I had purposed in my heart to seek the Lord and ask Him for impartation in the area of deliverance. On the first evening of the conference, after the ministry of the Word, Ken and the ministry team began ministering around the altar, specifically in the area of deliverance from curses. As they were ministering, I found myself wrestling with the Lord about going up for prayer. I didn’t feel like this was an area where I needed deliverance—but as I watched the ministry take place, I knew I needed to be prayed for by Ken. When Ken got to me, he laid his hands on me, gave me an encouraging word, and then the Holy Spirit came upon me in power. I began to speak in tongues, and it felt like currents of electricity were surging through my body. I knew in that moment I had received the impartation I had been praying for. The following day, during ministry time, I asked Clayton if he would pray for me regarding some pain I had been experiencing in my body for over a year. When Clayton laid his hands on me and began to pray, he started addressing—by the Spirit—some of the hurtful things others had done to me in the past. As he prayed, I began to weep and sense the presence of the Lord resting on me as He healed an area of my heart I honestly thought was already healed. In addition to that, as Clayton continued praying, I was touched again powerfully by the Spirit. I don’t know all that God did in me during that time of ministry, but it was a wonderful encounter, and I could feel the weight of God’s presence resting on me. In just two days, I received so much more from the Lord than I could have imagined. God is good, and His faithfulness is astounding!
Freedom In Forgiveness
On Friday night at the Spiritual Warfare Conference, we were invited to come to the front if we were dealing with unforgiveness or family curses. I immediately thought of my great-great-great-grandmother, who was a practicing witch. As a young girl—and into my twenties—I dabbled in that world as well. But I was delivered from that lifestyle when I gave my life to the Lord about 27 years ago. Still, I thought, Well, maybe there are some possible generational curses in our bloodline because of her. As I stood at the altar and began reading the prayer on the screen, I got to the part about forgiveness. Tears just started rolling down my face. I thought, Wow— this is why I'm up here. I tried to keep reading through to the part about breaking curses, but I kept feeling pulled back to declare the forgiveness prayer again and again. Then we were told to say the names of those we needed to forgive. I thought I needed to forgive my childhood sexual abuser again, but I was set free from that last year. So instead, I began going through my past and declaring forgiveness. Then the Lord revealed something that shocked me—the forgiveness I needed to speak wasn’t for people from my childhood, but for people who had hurt me more recently, especially within the last few years, through work and ministry. My mind was blown. And I could feel the Father’s smile over me as I was set free from those wounds. Thank you, FLC team, for this opportunity to be set free.
Utterly Cut Off
The week leading up to the Spiritual Warfare Conference, Mikayla and I were talking about The Bait of Satan and the importance of releasing offenses. I spent some time in the car repenting of offenses I had taken up against friends, family, people I’ve worked with—even my children—and I experienced some deliverance. I knew God had more in store for me at the conference, and I had a sense it was related to deep fear. I can’t quite describe how this fear would affect me. It was subtle. Some days (not all), I would wake up with a dread of the day and a weight on my chest. Occasionally, I would spiral into worry about provision and the future of the business. As I walked in more freedom, these episodes became less frequent—but fear still influenced my thinking. My parents and grandparents lived in the Soviet Union during war and the collapse of the USSR, so I knew there was a generational effect. I also lost my biological dad at a young age to a heroin overdose. He struggled with alcoholism and was abusive, so I have vivid memories of assault and abuse from my childhood. On Friday night, I went up for prayer to break curses. Josh’s prayer focused on my father, and I sensed curses of unnatural death, fear, and cursed finances being broken. When Josh touched me, my side seized. Then, when he placed his hand on my stomach, I doubled over. My stomach tightened so much—it felt like something was being pushed out of me. I thought, That’s it, I’m done. Right? We couldn’t stay for prayer on Saturday, but I still felt like God wasn’t finished—especially in the area of fear. I even told someone, “If fear is in me, its days are numbered.” That night, God prepared my heart with this word: "Behold, upon the mountains the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace! Keep thy feasts, O Judah, perform thy vows; for the wicked one shall no more pass through thee; he is utterly cut off." —Nahum 1:15 I wasn’t sure if that meant I was already free from fear or that I was about to be free in a new way, but I received that word. I also believed it was for the Church—for anyone worried their deliverance wouldn’t “stick.” God was saying, It’s over. On Sunday, we loaded up the boys and made it to church. I wasn’t sure if I would go up for prayer, but I told God He could do whatever He wanted. As I waited, I remembered a traumatic time when I nearly drowned. Someone tried to save me but couldn’t. Miraculously, someone else jumped in, pulled me out, and swam me to safety. But afterward, my cousin assaulted me for being "stupid" enough to go to the middle of the pool instead of staying near the edge. I knew God wanted to free me from that trauma. As I waited, my side and stomach started to tighten again. When Aaron came over to pray, I told him about the memory, what I was feeling physically, and that it felt like something was attached to my lungs. Over the next several minutes, Aaron prayed, and I experienced incredible freedom—from traumatic spirits, spirits of infirmity, the spirit of fear, and the spirit of death. I knew God was pushing out things that had taken space in my heart and mind. As I lay on the ground, staring at the lights, I felt the peace of God begin to fill the spaces once occupied by the enemy. John knelt beside me and quietly prayed. I had no energy—or desire—to move, and as he prayed, I began to weep with joy, excitement for the future, and the overwhelming feeling that I could breathe deeper than I ever had before. I know that fear, trauma, and death are utterly cut off. I’m excited to see what life without their influence looks like—in my marriage, as a dad, and as a business leader. Even though God has already been so gracious and given us the gift of faith, I believe He’s inviting us into even greater trust and obedience—which would have been nearly impossible under the weight of fear and trauma. Thank you to the Leadership Team and the Ministry Team. I’m so grateful to be equipped in this way—and excited to bring deliverance to other men who have suffered trauma.
Removing Restrictions
How incredible it is that God knows the desires of our hearts and ministers to us with such tenderness. What a joy it was to welcome Ken and Michelle to our young church in Columbus, OH. God used them to minister deeply to many of us—especially us grandparents! Their encouragement and ministry were such a gift. It was truly a special and precious time. On Saturday evening, as Ken began praying for different groups, I sensed the Holy Spirit was touching me. When he prayed for me, it felt as if someone had knocked the backs of my knees—I couldn’t stand. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so lovely and tangible. During that time, I saw a picture: a group of healthy, vibrant trees of different shapes and sizes, each wrapped in netting—like the kind used to bundle Christmas trees for transport. I believe the Holy Spirit was showing me that He was removing the "netting"—the restrictions that had crept into certain areas of my life. I had been praying about these very things, and I’m so thankful that the Holy Spirit came in power to bring freedom and break those yokes. Wendy Willoughby Ohio, USA
Delivered from Fear
I will never forget the day Jesus set me free from the spirit of fear I had lived with for 18 years. It was the day I truly realized that Jesus is the Lord of Lords—and how deeply He loves me. My story began when I was 19. I had grown up in Cape Town, South Africa, and gave my life to Jesus when I was 12. I attended youth group, became very involved in church, and by 19, I was a youth leader. Though times in South Africa were volatile, I had led a fairly sheltered life and hadn’t experienced anything traumatic. The country was only months away from its first democratic elections, and there had been a series of random attacks on public places. Gangs of so-called “Freedom Fighters” were opening fire on restaurants. On the night of July 25, 1995, while I was attending the evening service at St. James Church in Kenilworth, Cape Town, a gang of African extremists burst into the church, threw hand grenades, and opened fire on the congregation. It was traumatic. Many lives were lost. Yet in that moment, for the first time, I tangibly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. As I lay on the church floor praying, I experienced the overwhelming comfort and love of God. But in the days that followed, I believe a spirit (demon) of fear entered my life. Doctors diagnosed me with severe PTSD, and I assumed that was the cause. For three months after the attack, I suffered panic attacks twice a day and needed medication to cope. Everything felt like a potential trauma. I was afraid to go out. It took a year to recover from the worst symptoms, but I was trying to do it all in my own strength. Over the next 18 years, I struggled. My Christian walk was difficult. I backslid often while trying to “fix myself.” I read countless books on fear, received prayer, and sought help—but I never fully realized that I was dealing with a spirit of fear. I just assumed this was how life would be after the church attack. So I did what I knew: I learned to accommodate the fear. One major trigger was flying. I would cry throughout flights, clinging to Scriptures about God’s protection and love—but the fear never left. I only flew when absolutely necessary. Life became a constant calculation around avoiding fear. It was exhausting. Even sleep brought no relief. I had dreams of demons attacking me. I was so afraid that in those dreams, I couldn’t even say the name "Jesus" to rebuke them. Sometimes I’d be praying and suddenly hear the name "Satan" in my thoughts—it was horrifying and made me question whether I was truly saved. I had moments of breakthrough, but then new fears would creep in. In 2010, my husband and I moved to the UK and joined KingsGate Church. I sensed in my spirit that God had brought me here to set me free from fear. I thought that freedom would come from being in a safer country—I had no idea what God had planned. Since 2007, my relationship with Jesus had been growing stronger. Everything was on track—except for one “minor issue”: I was bound by fear. One Sunday, I heard that Ken Grenfell was coming to do a workshop on deliverance. I thought, “That sounds great—I’d love to learn how Jesus sets people free.” I didn’t think it applied to me. Not at all. (I thought I was free.) But the week leading up to Ken’s visit, I had more demonic dreams than ever. I was afraid of everything—driving, flying, even the hairdryer exploding. Still, it didn’t click. As Ken taught about deliverance—what it is, who it’s for, how the spiritual battle works, and how strongholds are formed—it finally hit me: this is my life. He’s describing me. I prayed as I listened, and I heard Jesus say, “I am going to set you free today.” Afterwards, my husband and I went up for prayer. As Ken prayed, God gave him a picture of me lying on the floor, and God lifting me in His arms, saying, “Never will I leave you. Never will I abandon you.” As Ken shared this, I saw a vision of myself lying on the St. James Church floor during the attack, and Jesus picking me up and carrying me. Ken continued to pray as God revealed more. Then I felt led to tell Ken that I had a spirit of fear and wanted to be free. As I said it, I began to weep uncontrollably. Ken took my face in his hands and said, “Look at me.” When I did, I saw the love of Jesus in his eyes. Then he addressed the spirit of fear. That’s when I knew something was inside me—I couldn’t look at him. My head turned to the side involuntarily. I was scared, but surrounded by my husband, pastors, and people who loved God. I felt safe. I clung to Ken’s arms and cried out, “I just feel so trapped. I just feel so trapped!” Then I called out, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” And as I said His name, Jesus came flooding in—and set me free. I just cried and cried. God is so good. Afterwards: I was exhausted, and we went home so I could rest. That night, as I was falling asleep, I worried that maybe the demon hadn’t fully left. I felt anxious (which I later learned is a normal reaction). I told my husband, and he reminded me that Satan is a liar who wants me to believe I wasn’t set free. But the next morning, I woke up after the best sleep I’d had in 18 years. Even better—I had no demonic dreams. Two days later, I drove my car for the first time since the deliverance (driving had been a major fear trigger). And I realized: I AM FREE. I wasn’t afraid at all. I cried all the way home and told my husband, “Jesus really has set me free.” I was reminded of this Scripture: “He whom the Son sets free is free indeed.” (John 8:36) The Cherry on Top: Worshiping God after being delivered is amazing. In the days following, God gave me a new song. It felt like the floodgates had opened. I had previously put my guitar aside, and songwriting had faded. But now, that part of me is alive again. Even reading the Bible has changed. It feels like a fire is ignited within me, and I can concentrate so much better when reading God’s Word.
Set Free in Every Way
Shortly after I lost my job in January 2010, I knew I was entering a season of healing and breakthrough. My first task was to stand on God’s promises and practice diligently what He’d been teaching me over the past several years—to take every thought captive, replacing fear and negativity with praise, worship, and meditation on His Word. He graciously led me to a handful of promise scriptures and kept me there, day after day, for well over a year. Last summer, I had a dream. This wasn’t anything new; my dreams have long been insightful and prophetic, and I can track my mental, emotional, and spiritual growth through them, going back at least as far as high school. This one was especially troubling, however, and as I prayed for interpretation, God revealed that He (and therefore, I) was ready to tackle the two biggest, most impactful issues in my life—issues that have plagued me for the past 40 years. The first had to do with familial relationships. As I prayed about it, the Spirit put a phrase into my head, a phrase I had never heard before. I looked it up on the internet, and sure enough, there were books on it. These enabled me to understand and name the issue before me, which in turn enabled me to take a stand against it—binding spirits and praying for release. The results weren’t outwardly dramatic; I just woke up one day and knew that I was free from that particular curse. Soon after, I began to see the outward manifestation of that freedom. The second issue raised in my dream, related to walls of self-protection, was not so “easy” to address. I cried out to God, meditated on scripture, bound spirits, focused on God’s Word and promises, prayed continually—and made very little progress. I had minor breakthroughs: greater understanding here, a new level of forgiveness there, deeper revelation of God’s love and grace. But something was still holding me back. A few weeks ago, before Ken came to minister at the retreat, the Lord told me very clearly that while I was doing all I could do, scripturally, to face this issue, it wasn’t going to be enough. I needed deliverance. Just that knowledge brought me great relief. When Ken told us that he was going to teach on spiritual warfare, my ears perked up. Halfway through Friday’s session, I knew this was my time. By the end of the Saturday morning session, I told God I would not let go or leave that place until I had received my breakthrough! I also told Ken over lunch that day that I was going to be first in line for prayer, and I’d push people out of the way if I had to. He laughed and said he liked my spirit. I’m not sure he knew how serious I was! Ken started by asking those who felt God had called them to help set captives free to stand. I stood, and while Ken prayed, I felt a burning sensation in the palms of my hands. Remembering the prophecies about my touch, I went forward when called and was quickly slain in the Spirit. It was a marvelous experience, but as I returned to my chair, I said to God, “This is fantastic, but it’s not why I came here, and I will not leave until I’m set free.” As Ken began to call out specific people for prayer, I felt like a little kid. In my mind, I kept begging, “Pick me! Pick me!” So when Ken called me out, I was excited and relieved, and only a little bit scared. Someone asked me later if it was embarrassing to stand in front of 70 people in that way. I had to say no, because looking into Ken’s eyes, I have never been more aware of God’s love for me, and I’ve never felt safer. I knew that God was working through Ken, that I was safe with him, and that as a result, I was safe in front of my Church in the City (CITC) family. When my session ended, I knew I was free. I also knew that while some of the issues related to my problem would take time to work themselves out, there were some things that would manifest immediately. I even shared with a friend that if I went home and didn’t see a change—that day—in one particular behavior related to food, I would know there was more in me that had to be addressed, and I intended to go up for prayer at church over and over until it was done. It’s been five days now, and I can happily (and ecstatically) share that this first change has indeed manifested, and I know I am free. Of course, God being God, that’s not all. In the few weeks prior to the retreat, He was already working, starting to bring about the fulfillment of the other prophecies. After months and months of no interest at all from prospective employers, I am now actively interviewing for four great jobs. It’s clearly time for a new season in my life, and I am anticipating amazing things to open up for me over the next few months. Praise God for His goodness, faithfulness, and power, and thanks to CITC for being an integral part of this marvelous process. YES! By Val Chicago, USA
A Day of Freedom
The entire weekend of our fall retreat flowed perfectly. What we were learning, and the way the Holy Spirit was personalizing key components and fitting them into what I already understood, was amazing. On Saturday, during worship, I felt the Holy Spirit surround me in a way I hadn’t really experienced before. I felt free to drop to my knees in worship, and I began to sing my own song—perhaps the Father’s song over me: “You have nothing to fear, nothing to fear… I have nothing to fear, nothing to fear… My God is Greater.” I had been struggling internally with much fear after several bizarre incidents in my neighborhood. While on my knees in worship, I began to weep—a release that I had needed. It was during this time that a couple of prophetic songs and words came through about the very thing I had been singing: we have NOTHING to fear in light of WHO our GOD is!!! I felt an incredible freedom wash over me in that moment as the Lord confirmed the word He had been ministering personally over my heart. I think that set the tone for what that day would be for me—A day of freedom! That night, I paced the back of the room for a bit, working out what felt like random tweaks all over my body. I had shooting pain in my back, then in my ear, then in my head, then in my shoulder—just pinging pain. I thought it was bizarre and had a twinge of insight (given the weekend’s teaching) that something wasn’t quite right about that. When there was an opportunity for prayer, my husband and I went up. I don’t think I had any expectations—I just felt that the Lord was doing something, so I wanted to stand with others in that. As Ken began to ask me what I needed prayer for, I felt extremely awkward—and those who know me would know that I don’t feel awkward very often. In fact, some might say I make it my mission in life to diffuse awkward situations by calling them out or creating them by being overly silly. So, it was…awkward to feel awkward. I drew a blank—I didn’t know what to pray for. My husband reminded me that I had mentioned the pinging pain all over my body, and so Ken began to ask some questions. Nothing really resonated, and I was readily able to say, “Jesus is my Lord, I am loved and accepted,” so they just began to pray. Then my husband, Dave, said, “You know, I just keep hearing ‘alcoholism’... alcoholism runs in her family.” I reacted immediately. I don’t know how to explain it, but it was as if God made a supernatural freedom bubble around me that allowed me to crack. I began buckling over, crying, and saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” repeatedly. Ken then called on my husband to take authority over this familiar spirit. (Ken later said that Dave got a crash course in deliverance.) I ended up on the floor. Dave said I kept squirming away from his hand as he tried to lay it on my head. My face was on the floor, and I don’t think I heard much of what he prayed. I know he prayed with authority, releasing me from the alcoholic history in my family and the resulting shame, feelings of abandonment, or loneliness that came from that. Another friend and elder’s wife, Kathy, came over at some point and joined in praying for me as well. I began coughing and gagging a lot, feeling overwhelmed by tears and relief. While at one point, I was unknowingly squirming away from my husband, who was ministering to me, I began to find peace, stillness, and rest. When I turned my head on the floor and opened my eyes, I saw his hand and grabbed it. I am still processing what happened during that time. While I didn’t actually struggle with alcohol myself, despite my family’s battle, I never felt compelled to abstain completely. Nevertheless, I felt it personally important to apply faith and action to my sure deliverance, so I am taking a fast from alcohol for an unknown length of time. I’m allowing God the space to continue working and to cement some things He has done—and to stand in absolute resistance to a family door the enemy would love to find a way into again. What I do know is that I have a quietness in me that hasn’t been there before. I’ve since been in circumstances where I’ve noticed a stillness where there used to be a compulsion to argue and a quietness where there used to be anger or anxiousness. I am so curious about all this, but it tastes like freedom and feels like love—and that is more than enough! “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom.” Praise our LIVING God! By Erin Chicago, USA
Freed from Rejection and Insecurity
This weekend was life-changing for me. I grew up with abuse in my life on many levels. Sometimes it was subtle; other times, it was physical. The rest of the world only saw the good deeds my parents did, but behind closed doors, there was alcohol abuse, inappropriate innuendo toward and about women, a passive father figure, and a strong, abusive matriarchal influence in the home. As the middle child, I was the scapegoat. Often in these types of family systems, particularly when there is a narcissistic parent, there is also a golden child. This was the case in my family. As I grew up under the oppressive nature in the home, I became insecure and overcompensated in many ways throughout my life. I became involved with drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity. I came to faith when I was 29 years old, and I was radically transformed. God immediately removed addiction from my life, and my whole life became about Him. I was and am in LOVE with JESUS!!! Because of the abuse, I have done much inner healing and counseling, and God has transformed me. From glory to glory, He continues to reveal His nature to me. One area I have struggled with over my 23-year journey in faith has been rejection and insecurity. In recent years, the Holy Spirit has been pointing out these areas, particularly over the last two years. He wants me to be free. When Ken Grenfell came to minister at Revolution Church for the Freedom Weekend, I was there to serve, leading worship. I came expectant, longing to see God move in others and, if at all possible, in my own life. During the ministry portion of the weekend, I honestly felt that there wouldn’t be anything I needed ministry for (silly, I know), as I felt I had done a lot of my own inner work. I didn’t want to take away from what others there might need. As Ken began to list the things we may have felt leading up to the weekend that could be indicators we might need deliverance, I didn’t think there was anything for me. Then, God dropped the words “rejection” and “insecurity” into my mind, and I began to feel compelled to repent and ask for forgiveness for bitterness toward my mother (my abuser) and my sister, the two women in my life from whom I longed for affirmation but never seemed to get it. As I finished talking to God in my heart, Ken said, “If you are sensing the LORD moving in you and talking to you specifically about the word ‘rejection,’ I want you to stand up.” Immediately, I stood up. I had my eyes closed, so I’m not sure how many other people stood, but Ken moved toward me and began praying for deliverance. He spoke directly to the issue within me, saying things like, “No more cowering, it’s okay, come out from the corner.” At that moment, I was taken to multiple memories of being bullied, abused, and cornered in fear, starting from my youngest memories. He then began to prophesy over me things I had heard the Lord speak to me about my identity—who I am in Him, how I am known in heaven, and my calling and anointing. At the end, Ken had me look into his eyes, and I knew I was seeing Jesus. It was Ken, but it was Jesus. I know that I know that I know I am free from the spirit of rejection and low self-worth that had been on me. I am claiming freedom for my daughters as well. Praise the LORD!
Deliverance
I learned a lot about deliverance at the Spiritual Warfare Conference held at Free Life Church. I had previously experienced deliverance from narcolepsy during a healing event, so I already had a measure of faith that deliverance was real. But I didn’t realize I still needed freedom from things rooted in my childhood and family history. During the conference, I came to a decision: I no longer wanted to deal with bipolar disorder. I believed—fully—that God could remove it from my life. I’ve lived with this disorder my whole life, and it runs in my family. But that day, I felt an unusual boldness. I was ready. It was almost a sense of anger—like I refused to let it define me any longer. Two kind women met me at the front and prayed with me, some of their prayers focused on bringing unity within myself. While they prayed, someone came up to my left and gently placed a hand on my back. I heard them quietly say, “Mm-hmm.” When I turned to see who it was, no one was there—no one behind me at all. I believe an angel was there, ministering alongside those two women. I cried. Since then, I’ve continued walking in freedom from bipolar disorder. But that wasn’t the only thing God did that night. I spent the entire evening in prayer, asking God to deliver me from many other things—some of which were unusually hard for me to let go of. Still, I surrendered everything to Him. For the next 24 hours, I felt an overwhelming peace. Nothing could shake it. Even during my workday, nothing rattled me. I didn’t eat a single thing during that time—I didn’t need to. I was already full. – A
God spoke in many ways, and some things were quite personal. But one thing I want to mention here is seeing Jesus in Ken's eyes. I completely forgot about Ken. Then I was hugged, and it didn’t make me think, “I’m hugging Ken.” Instead, I was hugged and loved by the Father. Tears roll down my eyes as I’m writing this. His love made everything come alive again and restored my hope and faith. I grew up without receiving “daddy hugs,” as my dad was absent, and that little moment made me feel like that lack of a father's love never happened and never affected me. It reversed the damage in my soul. Also, another reversal was dealing with anger in my life (something I had received while growing up). I felt hopeless and condemned because I tried so, so, so hard not to have those outbursts but always failed. Jesus broke that in my life, and I believe I was delivered from it. Now, I need to practically deal with that temptation when it tries to arise, but I will have the ability and power to overcome. I was bound, but now I’m free! I’m not a slave to it any longer—praise God! Last but not least, Jesus showed me that I’m not guilty of it. I had felt so condemned and guilty, but Jesus took it upon Himself and nailed it to the cross. I’m now empowered and guilt-free. Funny thing is, in my mind, I always knew all of this…but His power and presence made this freedom a tangible reality. Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
At My Wit's End
The last few years have been, to put it mildly, arduous. Family challenges, work challenges, and financial struggles of every kind became my everyday reality. Every effort we made to achieve stability seemed to backfire. I found myself living in a perpetual state of stress and exhaustion. Strangely, even acts of obedience to God often appeared to backfire. To say that relationships at home and work were strained would be an understatement. I knew God was walking with me daily, but I was emotionally drained. Through these times, His personal promises to me of hope and renewal were the only things keeping me from a complete breakdown. By nature, I am a carefree and positive person, and I could remember that in years past, I had not felt this hopeless. Yet, somehow, I had begun to dread making new friendships or undertaking anything that required sustained effort or responsibility. For months at a time, at least four days a week, I would come home from work and crawl straight into bed. I love my wife and kids, but I simply had nothing left to give them. Ten weeks ago, I experienced a life-changing event—one I am still processing enough to put into words. Free Life was hosting a two-day event on the topic of spiritual warfare. At the conclusion of the event on Saturday morning, I asked Kevin for prayer. He knew nothing about the specifics of my situation, yet, unsolicited, he prayed for strength for me. Later, he told me he felt something was unfinished but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. I was grateful for his prayer and encouraged to know that God had put it on his heart to pray for strength for me. About 30 minutes later, my daughter, wife, and I were receiving a family prayer from Aaron. In the middle of the prayer, he paused, looked at me, and said he felt God leading him to pray for me specifically. He declared that God would change something soon—in an instant—like a fire coming over me (his words). I welcomed this with optimism and dared to hope that it would be so. I know God works in this way when He chooses, but I had never personally seen or experienced it, so it left me contemplative. The following day (December 12, 2021), during the regular Sunday service, Ken shared that God had delivered him personally from a heavy yoke of fear of responsibility. This fear had originated from difficult circumstances when he was an eight-year-old child. He explained that God had instructed him to bring this prayer of deliverance forward that day for anyone who needed it. I stood with about 20 others and received his prayer from the pulpit. As the service ended, I noticed Clayton flagging me down from across the sanctuary. He grabbed Ken and approached me, saying that while Ken was praying over the service, God had shown him my face—while his eyes were still closed in prayer. He told Ken, “Dad, I think this prayer is for Mark!” and asked him to pray over me specifically. Ken then laid hands on me and prayed that the yoke of fear of responsibility and failure would be lifted off me. He thanked God for my steadfastness and gave me a verse: "I…restore the spirit of the lowly and revive the heart of the contrite." (Isaiah 57:15) Within five minutes of the prayer ending, I experienced something I can only describe as a caffeine high. Over the next week, as the buzz started to settle, I realized something had seriously shifted in me. Just three days after this experience, I received an unexpected $30,000 bill—and it didn’t even faze me! God spoke to my heart: "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" (Isaiah 43:19) Yes, Lord—I do perceive it! He has restored my energy, my hope, and, in time, He will restore my finances as well. I believe God is doing more than just delivering me from a failure mentality—He is shifting my entire identity in preparation for a new season. I stand in renewed awe of Him, and I cannot wait to see what He has planned. The challenges of the last decade pale in comparison to the power and love of God. How good it is to know the Lord! He draws near to the brokenhearted and the crushed in spirit. One Holy Spirit spoke one narrative through four men who knew nothing of my situation, at four different times, over the course of two days. Simply amazing. Words cannot do it justice. "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." —Ephesians 3:20 Mark
Renewed through God's Love
Oh, what miracles our family experienced this past weekend through the incredibly kind visit of Ken, Michelle, and Josh! We learned so much during the classes they led—deep truths that touched our hearts and brought real transformation. During the prayer times, we were renewed. Thankfully, a friend captured on video the moment of prayer over our son, allowing us to relive and share the absolute beauty of the Father’s healing, refreshing, teaching, and blessing over a young man who is now moving forward in His joy! My sweet husband was also renewed in prayer. Such tenderness was poured out over him—Josh, you are overflowing with the tenderness of Jesus. Through that time of prayer, my husband was encouraged to try once more to mend a broken relationship with his earthly father. So the three of us—my husband, my son, and I—went straight to his father’s house. Amazingly, his father welcomed us in. Even more, he allowed my husband and son to pray for him. Praise the Lord! I, too, received prayer that weekend. The encouragement Michelle spoke into me still overflows in my heart. I also received prayer for freedom. And though I was physically looking into Ken’s eyes, in my spirit, I saw Jesus. We will be forever thankful for the love of Jesus and the way He met our family this weekend.
Fresh Hunger
I really struggled to go up for prayer. I debated, fought, and even laid down "a fleece," and when God made it crystal clear, I stepped into the line. I thought to myself, "You have a chance to hear from God—why wouldn’t you want that?" So, up I went. I felt like Jesus met me right there, and it was 100% Him speaking to me. He spoke to everything in my heart, and when I left, all I could think of was when the woman at the well went away and said, "He told me everything I ever did." I left feeling, "He told me everything I ever felt or thought." Ever since then, I’ve had a fresh hunger for the Word and fellowship with Him. Also, another reversal was dealing with anger in my life (something I had received while growing up). I felt hopeless and condemned because I tried so, so, so hard not to have those outbursts but always failed. Jesus broke that in my life, and I believe I was delivered from it. Now, I need to practically deal with that temptation when it tries to arise, but I will have the ability and power to overcome. I was bound, but now I’m free! I’m not a slave to it any longer—praise God! Last but not least, Jesus showed me that I’m not guilty of it. I had felt so condemned and guilty, but Jesus took it upon Himself and nailed it to the cross. I’m now empowered and guilt-free. Funny thing is, in my mind, I always knew all of this…but His power and presence made this freedom a tangible reality. Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
A Father Who Loves Me
Ken had spoken about his relationship with his earthly father, and it brought up many memories of my own father. My father left when I was three, and I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. During his time in my life, I was told that my many hospital visits were due to him. This left me with a lot of anger and hatred that I still struggle with to this day. I had decided I needed help with this, so I approached Ken for prayer. The funny thing is, I didn’t tell him what I needed prayer for, but he began praying anyway. He didn’t pray about my anger or hatred, though. Instead, he prayed about the tenderness inside me that I had suppressed and needed to release. I now see that I had been focusing on the wrong things, and that I do have a Father who loves me.
Release From Guilt
When I went forward for prayer, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted or needed—I just felt that I had to go. I thought to myself, "I’ll go and see what God has for me." And it was as if He reached right into the deepest part of my heart and soul. He spoke words that I didn’t even realize I needed. He spoke a release from a weight of guilt for something that was beyond my control, beyond my power to protect. Guilt that had been affecting my family and my marriage because I blamed myself. I thought, surely my husband must blame me too. I now understand that this guilt caused me to lash out in anger, where there was no condemnation. Ken asked my husband if it was alright to hug me. At that moment, it stopped being Ken hugging me—it was God Himself. As He held me, the guilt was gone, and I felt complete and total love. Since then, it’s as if I am seeing things with new eyes, clearer, with a fresh perspective. I now look in the mirror and see a daughter of the Most High God.
Testimonies
"I will praise you to all my brothers; I will stand up before the congregation and testify of the wonderful things you have done." Psalm 22:22